Here’s something a friend of mine sent me, concerning a Buddhist ceremony for her late mother-in-law, Jane. (Names have been changed for privacy.)
I’m not a particularly spiritual person, but I was very impressed yesterday evening when the Buddhist monks came. There were two of them, and one was clearly the accomplished famous monk. Of course Jim, Gary and I made many jokes about the monk coming – Monks R Us, we might need a back-up monk, are there monks on the bench? But this was really good. There were about fifteen of us in Susan’s living room. One wall is all glass, and she has a huge mirror that reflects the outdoor garden. We were sitting on the couch where I could look straight into the mirror and it was incredibly beautiful, because the late afternoon light backlit some fan palms so they were bright green, against a background of blue-green-gray oleander that moved wildly in the wind. It was gorgeous. I couldn’t take my eyes off it, except to look at the monk in his dark red robe. And the monk explained what he was doing. He was matter-of-fact and made a lot of sense, talking about how life was only completed by death, and this is not a sad thing. He had a way about him that made me feel Jane really was going on up the path to enlightenment. The monk wasn’t trying to convince anyone. It just was. There was no self-consciousness in any way – he wasn’t the arrogant Top Monk, and he wasn’t plaintive. I was moved by his presence. We were to give her her favorite foods by throwing them into the fire, as well as water and tea. He told us Jane was present and her consciousness was there, but in a different way. She lay on a gurney and had been dressed in a beautiful midnight-blue tunic, she looked like a monk herself. He said that he hoped everyone would let her go on her path and not try to keep her from it, that this was a part of life. He embodied acceptance of the way things were, and acceptance of what could be done to help Jane on her journey. He helped her reach up to a higher consciousness. I was deeply moved.
If you ever get a chance to participate in a ceremony like this, it’s worthwhile. Especially since you are interested in death and the afterlife. The chanting can be a bit onerous, but I left thinking I don’t know everything.